Assertiveness is about reasonable behavior that holds own ground and finds reasonable working compromises, so there are no losers. It's about both sides winning at least something.

• Some people give in too easily and will do anything to avoid conflict, even agreeing to the impossible;
• Other people can be overbearing and aggressive and lead others to agree to things that are either wrong, or unachievable.

Assertive behaviour reduces the negative aspects of both these types; passive and aggressive. It gives you the right to say what you think and feel calmly and clearly, without giving offence and denying the rights of others to have different views or expectations. You could describe it as being about what you say... and especially about how you say it.

Perhaps the central point is that assertiveness is not about winning and losing. It's only about winning. True assertive behaviour helps everyone to win something, as it removes unhealthy competition, the need for one party to beat another. If you win, they win too. It is possible, with solutions to difficult situations that recognise everyone's needs and wants, and that aim for constructive compromise that gives everyone something.

• Handling difficult situations more effectively.
• Understanding where you are coming from - what situations you can and can't handle at present.
• Having a sense of self-worth.
• Helping you to control the way you feel about the world and the people in it rather than the other way around.
• Recognising your own and other people's rights and responsibilities.

IT IS GENERALLY ABOUT BEING A MORE EFFECTIVE PERSON.

Skills Tests -> The Assertiveness Inventory -> Assertive Behaviour